Letters in the wind 3

I wish I didn't care. I wish it wasn't necessary and I wish my heart didn't ache. Isolation is deadly, it's a curse. Addicting and liberating but cold and sparse. All the opportunities in front for me to grab whichever I choose and no one to share the treasure with.

Why do I complain? I did this to myself.

I did it to protect the last shreds of me that aren't torn, the last shards that still reflect an image. I share too much and take too little, this is a blessing to the divine but I am flesh and limited. Eternal giving will cost me my bones.

It's for this reason that I push others away. Not because I hate them but because I love them too much and don't want to interfere. Free will is to be valued after all.

So go, be happy and leave me behind. I see far and will glance in your direction from time to time but I will never burden you with my faults. You deserve better, everyone does.

Everyone deserves to be happy and I've earned my seat at the table alone.

There are no mistakes where there are no right answers.

I wish to not exist and this is the nearest thing to sleep, a step above death.