Santa Claus Intel Report #0001

So get this, this dude has already gone through 7 liters of Vodkanog and is still taking swigs from his flask. I don't think those reindeer are even real, I mean, just look at them just stand there, eyes fixed forward. Mrs.Claus seems to have gotten over the intense beating administered to her by the elf thugs that act as bodyguards for the fat boy and is now cooking breakfast for the workers in the kitchen. Despite his savage nature and unwavering belligerence, Santa is surprisingly revered by the elves on the floor. About an hour ago, I saw Frosty the snowman walk across the floor, from one end of the factory to the other, carrying an entire sack of cocaine. Just like that, not even trying to hide it. We intercepted a radio transmission meant for "headquarters" located somewhere in southeast Asia where it was discovered he runs a facility where illegal narcotics are processed, manufactured and distributed along the many weblike routes and out of the continent. Goodness only knows how many lives he's ruined.